


SPN Coda 15x01 - "Back and to the Future"

by heylittleangel



Series: Supernatural Codas - Season 15 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is angry angel, Cas misses Jack, Coda, Dean was cold and it hurt me, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, and Cas ended up being cold as well, and he's tired, real tired, snarky!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 06:09:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20990120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heylittleangel/pseuds/heylittleangel
Summary: Hey peeps! So, season 15 aired yesterday so the season of codas started too. Let's hope I manage to write one for every episode and you can definitely wait for me to put Cas in every single one of them. I actually enjoyed the episode and I'm already a fan of Belphegor, or, as Dean called him, "Crowley junior".And look, I didn't put Destiel in this one. I would say it's a miracle.I hope you enjoy this one!





	SPN Coda 15x01 - "Back and to the Future"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey peeps! So, season 15 aired yesterday so the season of codas started too. Let's hope I manage to write one for every episode and you can definitely wait for me to put Cas in every single one of them. I actually enjoyed the episode and I'm already a fan of Belphegor, or, as Dean called him, "Crowley junior".
> 
> And look, I didn't put Destiel in this one. I would say it's a miracle.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one!

After Dean walks away, Castiel stays frozen in his place, dumbstruck at Dean’s words; he didn’t expect Dean to be as cold as he was. But maybe Castiel shouldn’t have been so surprised, he actually should’ve been used to it by now. He just thought that maybe, just  _ maybe _ , Dean wouldn’t be angry at him anymore, not after the recent events.

Castiel thinks he hears the demon, still using Jack’s body as if it’s the most natural thing, say something, but Castiel’s mind is too far away to process it. He passes by the demon, gaze focused anywhere other than what was once his son, almost bumping their shoulders. Castiel walks away, not paying attention to anything around him, almost deaf to the people talking behind him, to whatever the demon’s saying, and Sam and Dean talking.

He doesn’t stop walking until he’s ten feet away, stopping under a tree as he closes his eyes. All the pain he hasn’t let himself feel yet comes with a huge force, almost knocking Castiel out of his feet. He puts his hand on the tree to support himself, fighting against the tears that start to swell in his eyes. It’s all just too much for him to bear; losing whatever father figure he thought he had, losing Jack, who was his son and one of the people he loved the most, having to see a demon controlling Jack’s body. Castiel can’t deal with all of it; he has never felt so lost as he does at the moment.

A memory from not even a year ago comes to his mind; Michael telling him what Chuck did to the universes he created. How he would abandon them when they didn’t work the way he wanted, like failed versions of a book, writing story upon story to make everything the exact way he wants it to be, everyone and everything having to follow the script he created. Castiel didn’t believe Michael back then, thinking it was just Michael’s anger clouding his judgement, but, apparently, he was right.

Castiel scoffs, opening his eyes and staring at the sky.  _ I guess I should’ve believed him because, for once, he was actually right. _ He feels like screaming, or punching his anger away until he doesn’t feel anything else anymore. His right hand closes in a fist in impulse, arm shaking as Castiel tries to control his want to punch something. He knows tt won’t make a difference and he’ll only waste energy, but it would feel  _ so good _ to just punch something time after time, until it crumbled under him, destroyed, just like he is.

He takes a deep breath, forcing his hand to relax. It opens slowly, his arm stopping to shake as Castiel calms himself. He takes a look behind him, seeing Dean cleaning Sam’s wound, Jack—no, the demon—leaning against the Impala, arms crossed on its chest, and the people entering the school, the police officers making sure everyone’s there and safe. The one thing Castiel’s actually glad for is the fact that they managed to save almost everyone in town, take them away from the danger; at least, for the time being.

But he can’t help thinking about the ones that got killed; the two teenagers in the room, eyes almost ripped out of their sockets, thrown at the floor like rag dolls; the children that were enjoying a birthday party before Chuck decided this world wasn’t worth it anymore and got killed for it; a few adults laid on the streets as Castiel walked through them. All dead because God, the one that created all of them, who was supposed to be their guardian, decided to end it all, like a spoiled child.

Castiel takes a deep breath as Sam closes the trunk lid. He sees Dean stare at him with a brow arched but Castiel doesn’t want to deal with Dean; not now. He turns back and starts to walk away, only for a hand to come to his shoulder. He turns with a sigh, meeting Dean’s eyes.

“Where are you going?”

“Why do you care, Dean?”

Dean’s mouth opens and closes a few times, as if he’s deciding what he should say. “We have a freakin’ apocalypse to deal with and you’re just gonna bail on us?”

“I am not  _ bailing _ on you, Dean, but I’m not staying either. You don’t seem like you need me and, frankly, I would rather not have to deal with you blaming me all the time. And I’m not exactly looking forward to dealing with that abomination either,” Castiel waves his hand at the demon, “so, yes, I am going.”

Sam walks closer to them, an understanding expression on his face. “Cas, we should stick together, we don’t know what’s going on out there.”

“I know, Sam, so I’m gonna find out. I’ll call you if I find anything.”

He starts to turn again but Dean’s voice stops him, “So you’re not going to stay? What, me and Sam can just go screw ourselves?

Castiel sighs before turning to Dean, his most snarky expression on. “No, I’m not staying. You and Sam are more than capable of taking care of yourselves. So, when you decide that you’re going to  _ actually _ talk to me and stop blaming me for something that I didn’t do, you let me know. Until then, I have things to do.” 

Castiel walks away without another thought, leaving Dean’s surprised and hurt expression behind. He doesn’t regret it; he was exactly the one trying to keep everything from falling apart, only for Dean to come and knock everything down. No, Castiel has more to do and he’s not going to stay and get blamed for everything; not this time.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what are you thoughts on s15, the first episode, and the coda? Come talk to me on [ tumblr](https://gii-heylittleangel.tumblr.com), I love discussing about things :)


End file.
